Field Trip
by MoonlightMasquerading
Summary: Macavity decides to take his henchcats to a new training centre for the day. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer don't want to go. So what do the calico's do? They trick the boss. Into going somewhere he really doesn't want to.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Desertion /will/ continue! I just don't want to carry it on yet, as I can't think of /anything!/ So this weekend, I was on a long bus journey to London, and was wondering what would happen if Macavity took his henchcats on a trip somewhere. Yes, there are human things incorporated that cats wouldn't normally used, but this is Macavity we're talking about. He can do whatever the f*ck he wants. My writing skills aren't so good, though, I'm ill. Anyway, review and all that jazz! **

The Hidden Paw stood, alerrt, at the front of the bus, scanning down a list in his hand and calling out the names listed there.

"Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie?" Macavity called, when he reached the calico's place on the register.

The calico twins peeked up from their seats- next to each other, as usual- and grinned. " 'Ere, 'Sah!" The two cats replied in perfect unison, before bobbing back down to sprawl lazily in their seats, with the air of two cats who were too lazy to say anymore.

Macavity gave an absentminded nod, inwardly relieved that the notorious duo were on board. They were always out stealing, and never paid any attention to these mandatory training trips.

The Napoleon of Crime seamlessly carried on with the list, as though his slight muse about the calicos had never happened. Snapping the clipboard shut and throwing it aside, the Hidden paw leant forwards so that his arms were resting on a seat either side of the aisle. His henchcats immediately fell into a respectful silence, apart from Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie. Mentally cursing himself for allowing the two calicos to sit together, the Hidden Paw rolled his eyes.

"MUNGOJERRIE! RUMPLETEAZER!" He called, his voice not even escalating to a furious yell. Macavity never needed to scream to get his anger across. The slightly cool tone to his deep, sleazy voice alerted his henchcats to his imminent and ever growing rage.

Said calico twins fell silent, the latter biting her lip and giggling. With a sharp elbow in her ribs from 'Jerrie, even the famous giggling ceased.

Macavity shot a glare at 'Teazer, acid yellow eyes full of disapproval. Not like Teazer cared he was mad at her- Jerrie was such a high status henchcat, Macavity knew better than to hurt his sister.

"Alright, everyone. Welcome to the annual training trip, where we /all/ go and train together at a different facility that isn't the hideout," Macavity's cold voice filled the coach, more emphasis on the word 'all' to signify the absence of a few missing queens, who were either too lazy to come, or merely just didn't want to.

The henchcats nodded in affirmation, signifying that they indeed knew why they were stuck on the coach for half the day. Mungojerrie shot Rumpleteazer a knowing glance, which she returned in full. The two calicos had a prank up their sleeve; they didn't want to go to this stupid training centre- neither did anyone else. They were just too terrified to voice their lack of willingness to go.

Macavity went on and on about the many rules and regulations of this particular trip, which really weren't any different to the rules that applied to when they were taking up residence in the hideout.

After this long lecture, the ginger tom sat down and started the engine. As soon as the fear and respectful awe that was instilled in every cat by Macavity's presence faded, a ruckus broke out on the bus. Cats were calling to each other from the top of the bus to the bottom, and others were throwing things, along with various other kitten like activities.

From the front of the bus, Macavity sighed, checking the map he'd been given to the new training centre. The tom found it odd that it was supposedly in a different place to usual- not for one moment did he suspect Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer.

The calico cats smirked from where they were sitting, leaning back in their chairs and simultaneously high fiving each other. This was going to be a veeeeeery fun trip.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow, two reviews already? Man, I love you guys! XD I seem to get more reviews on CATS fanfics than any other.. Anyway, lets goooo! Oh and any mistakes, I have a craaaap keyboard. So sorryyy!**

Where the hell were they going? The training centre was in the North, and the Napoleon of Crime could tell they were going south. Oh, Bast.. Perhaps it had just moved? Or maybe he'd been given a different route? The Hidden Paw could only hope.

The ginger tom was contemplating the change of route when he felt something hit the back of his head. It didn't impact hard enough to hurt, only enough to make Macavity jump in surprise. While he was momentarily distracted by what had been thrown at him, the coach swerved and almost hit the side of the road. Cursing, he picked up the piece of paper and glared at the main suspects; Jerrie and Teazer. Ironically, the two calicos were laughing their heads off, but held their paws up to feign innocence.

"Mungojerrie! Rumpleteazer! Don't make me come back there!"

"Iht wasn' us, Sah! Iht was Zay!" Teazer protested, instantly transferring the blame to a well toned tabby tom sitting nearer to Macavity than Jerrie and Teazer. Zay looked up in surprise at the accusation, and pulled a face, hurt. Jerrie and Teazer had thrown it- while Macavity has been listening to the twins' conversation a few seconds prior to the throwing of the paper, and knew that the two calicos were guilty. Macavity's suspicions had been right.

As soon as 'Teazer threw the blame easily to one of his best henchcats, Macavity rolled his eyes and carried on driving, too aggravated and annoyed to chastise the calico queen.

Jerrie and Teazer feigned innocence until their ginger boss turned round, facing forwards once more. The two stood up and did a couple of victorious dance moves, mouthing, 'Go uuuus, go uuuus!'

When their little celebration of victory was over, the two calicos started giggling and sat down abruptly on the seats. Teazer jumped again, noticing she bounced slightly upon impacting with the seat. "Ey, 'Jer, ihts squidgy!" Teazer laughed, bouncing up and down like the seat was a trampoline. Jerrie mirrored her, and after a few moments, the bouncing had spread along the bus. Within seconds, the whole bus was bouncing up and down, with the exception of Macavity.

"'Ey, 'Teaz? Do ya think Mac'll be mad about the mahp choinge?" Jerrie whispered, sitting still again. Teazer leant lazily against her brother, and laughed.

"Onleh if 'e don't suspehct us, 'Jer!" Teazer responded, giggling in evident amusement.

"Good. Thihs ihs gonnah be fun."

**A/N Sorry for the short chapter! I can't think of where Jerrie and Teazer would pick to go... Any ideas? Leave suggestions! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Have you guys forgotten about Desertion? :o Still not sure if its gonna continue, but heh. I do not own the song- Mrs Browns BOys does. Its supposed to be rude, but the words are changed. ;D One of you gave me the idea for Cornwall. So here it is. Enjoy.**

"Are we thehre yet?!"

"No."

"Whoiy?!

"WE'LL GET THERE WHEN WE GET THERE, RUMPLETEAZER! NOW SHUT UP OR YOU'LL BE WALKING!" Macavity boomed, glancing in the mirror at the complaining calico queen. She had good reason to complain- they'd been going for at least a few hours.

Raising his eyebrows, the Hidden Paw watched the two calico twins for a few moments, as his suspicions began to grow. The two cats looked far from bored- Mungojerrie was smirking, and Rumpleteazer was giggling like mad. They knew something. Bast, why had he even brought them in the first place?

Turning for a few moments to observe the other henchcats, Macavity sighed. All the others were either sleeping comfortably- well, as comfy as you could get on a coach- or sitting quietly and demurely.

He hadn't turned back to face the road for a minute when quiet singing filled the bus.

"There once was a sailor who sat on the dohck, shakin' an' wavin' his big hairy fist. Mac had a boyfrien' an' he loiked to hunt, he saht boiy tha rivah, eatin' the sandwiches," Teazer sang, while Jerrie was doubled over in silent laughter. At the front of the bus, one of Teazer's friends, Aliz, started to giggle. Teazer's song was well known among the henchcats- if only you'd realize the words were slightly changed, you'd probably realize just how rude it was intended to be.

Macavity hit his head on the steering wheel and sat up, revelling in the fact that, according to the map, there was only a few miles left.

A few minutes passed, and the bus shot past a sign, so fast that the writing on it blurred. 'Welcome to Cornwall.'

Cornwall?! Freaking CORNWALL?! There were no training camps there.. Oh sweet mother Mary Jesus Christ and the donkey that took them all to Bethlehem. Macavity was pissed, but he pulled up in a dim, plain coach park.

Jerrie and Teazer jumped at the abrupt stopping, and looked around victoriously. They'd made it alive! Thank Bast.

"Alright, everyone.. It seems that we've been directed to the wrong place," Macavity relayed his thoughts to the henchcats, his voice low and deadly. As his did so, his piercing yellow eyes fell on 'Teazer and 'Jerrie, who tried their best to feign innocence.

"Right. So you're all expected to be back here for nightfall. Go," Macavity ordered, stepping aside as the doors of the bus slid smoothly open.

Shocked, all the henchcats remained seated, blanketed in silence for a few minutes. However, 'Jerrie, 'Teazer, and a few others whooped and ran off the bus, shoving past red tom tried to grab 'Teazer and 'Jerrie by the scruff, but was way too late. They'd gone.

"Jer'! Loohk a' thihs!" Teazer yelled from across the beach. The calico queen had found a perfect,immaculate shell, and she, along with some of the other queens, were fascinated.

Mungojerrie popped his head up from where he'd been talking to a few of the other toms (who had evidently fled from the bus, too) and rolled his eyes. His sister had a bizarre obsession with anything shiny- including the string of pearls she constantly wore around her neck. Unless she was trying to steal something- the string connecting each pearl almost always snagged on something. When that happened, the calico queen freaked. Nothing touched or damaged her pearls- it just wasn't allowed.

"Oi don' cahre!" Jerrie called, grinning. Teazer pouted, and her friends patted her on the back. Jerrie had never really shared the same interest as Teazer- apart from pranking and stealing, that is.

As soon as 'Jerrie had gone back to his conversation, the queens smirked and slunk off down to the water. Their plan was in action.

"Cmon," A silvery grey queen whispered, filling up a big shell with water, trying not to get soaked herself. Noticing that their friend had been successfull, the other queens mirrored her, the items holding the water varying. From an old Tupperware box to a glass vase- this beach had it all.

Wandering back to the dryer section of the beach, the group of teenaged queens giggled, sneaking up behind the toms. This was where Teazer came in.

Grinning, she snuck up behind her brother and put her arms round his shoulders, hugging him like she always did. Jerrie absentmindedly started to turn- and it was the worst thing he'd done that week.

"NOW!"

All the queens threw the seawater in the direction of the toms, laughing their heads off. The major part of the group got soaked, but Jerrie dodged.

And guesswho got the water intended for him?

"RUMPLETEAZER, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF-" Macavity bellowed, looking down at his soaked fur. As soon as he glanced back up, the queens had disappeared, taking up residence on the high cliff.

"Well, all I can say is, the toms look veeeerrryyyyy nice soaked," Aliz smirked.


End file.
